I’ve often heard of separation anxiety in babies. They can’t stand to see their mom leave them with some stranger. The truth is, I feel like I have separation anxiety too. I’ve been feeling intense urges to be by my baby’s side at all times. Many mothers feel like they need a break from the baby when they’ve been caring for him/her all day. That never happens with me. I never get my fill of hanging out with my baby. I LOVE when his daddy is home and gets to hold him and hang out with him, but it’s not with a sigh of relief that I hand the little guy over. Just a tiny part of me would be alright if I were able to hold him all the time. I rarely put him down during the day. I carry him in his baby sling (Maya Wrap_Love it!), hold him, prop him up on my lap-whatever. We have such a good time with me working at home on the computer, and him in my arms.
I feel like this urge to be my baby’s everything may be normal at this age. He’s just a little newborn, so helpless. And I really can’t get over those smiles! Who would want to leave the sight of something so absolutely beautiful and perfect?
For now, I’m not going to worry. I’m lucky enough to stay at home with my little man and take care of what he needs. It is tough at family events to have him passed around and not be *able* to hold him. But mostly, I get to hold him. And I truly am the luckiest person in the whole world.
I remember being very worried during my pregnancy that I would give birth to my son too early or that he would be a low birth weight baby. I prayed and prayed this wouldn’t happen as low birth weights open the door to all sorts of medical problems for babies.
I was fortunate enough to have the opposite problem and gave birth to my son who was over 9 pounds! He was as healthy as can be and scored a 9/10 on the Apgar! I know that I am a very lucky momma. Check out to find out how you can help those mommas and babies who aren’t so lucky.
I have a friend that I used to teach with that was born at 25 weeks gestation and was 1.5 pounds. It’s amazing to me that babies can survive such a trauma. But then I think about the sad news reports you hear about the babies who aren’t so lucky. Today I just felt like counting my blessings and praying for those little babies out there.
My little man has always been a REALLY good baby. He usually only cries when he’s hungry or when he’s getting his diaper changed. Last week I asked my husband if he thought having a baby was easier or harder than he’d anticipated. Just like I suspected, he said it was easier. I completely agree! I was terrified, but our baby is so wonderful and easygoing.
Lately though, he’s been getting a little more fussy. Apparently that is common for this age (6 weeks) and will improve with time. What makes matters worse is that he’s been producing *real* tears now that spill over onto his cheeks and break my heart! Sometimes I get frustrated because I don’t know how to help him, he’s been so content up until this point. Whereas he’s been calmed by nursing before, now he’ll pull off and fuss even more if he’s very upset. As a new mother, it is very difficult to accept that you don’t know what to do to help your baby.
One of my favorite resources is Dr. Sears. I purchased his book “The Baby Book” while I was pregnant and read it cover to cover. In a desperate search this morning, I found his website and tips on what to do when your baby is fussy. Dr.Sears
I’m definitely going to take these tips and MOVE more with my son. He is usually very content just cuddling, but perhaps now he really needs that motion!
Here are some links to products that might help your baby’s fussiness!
This morning began like most mornings…with me praying the baby would sleep *just a little bit longer*. We woke up (for good…there were several other “waking ups”) around 5:30 am and I feed him and changed him and feed him some more. He finally fell back asleep at about 7:30. I gently carried him back up the stairs and put him in his amby baby hammock and sighed with relief. Well, about 5 minutes later baby decided that he’d had enough sleep and started kicking and making noises. I knew that this would only escalate into cries, so I scooped him up. I wasn’t ticked off…of course I would never be upset with this little darling. But I was a *little* annoyed that I wasn’t going to get anymore sleep.
He needed changing again so I put him on the changing table and grabbed a diaper. I looked at his little face (Because it’s the cutest things ever), and he smiled at me! He’s been *smiling* since birth with what everyone says are gas pains, so I didn’t think much of it, just tucked it away into my cute- things- baby -does -file. I smiled back at him just for good measure…and he smiled again! We kept doing this routine for a good while until I was thoroughly convinced that he was actually smiling! It was the best thing I have ever seen in my whole life. To get some reassurance that I was, in some way, making my son happy was a wonderful feeling. At one point it seemed like he was attempting a little laugh…but I won’t get my hopes up. What a wonderful day!
I didn’t have the perfect pregnancy, I spotted throughout and me being the worrywart that I am, I always was so nervous that something would go wrong with the baby. Everything always turned out fine, my little man thrived in there!
Around 39 weeks, my doctor became a little concerned with my blood pressure and decided to induce my labor! That was fine with me as I was having false labor contractions constantly, and they were beginning to feel more and more like the real thing. I was also feeling like a giant whale by that point 
I went in on a Thursday morning and receive the synthetic hormone Pitocin to induce the labor. The nurse informed me that I had begun the early stages of labor anyway, and I was already 4 cm dilated! Wonderful news. Withing hours I was the full 10 cm dilated and I thought it was a piece of cake. I had an epidural, so I was really flying high thinking that I would have the easiest labor in all of history. No such luck…
After two hours of pushing my doctor came in and determined that my bones were shaped so that I cannot deliver vaginally. By his estimation, I had a big baby, but regardless of size delivering any full term infant will be near impossible for me. They had turned my epidural off by this point to help me feel to push, so I was in a lot of pain by this point. I quickly signed the release forms for the c-section. This is the point where I get down on myself a little bit. I feel like a gave up with the pushing. It was like I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore because no progress had been made. I feel a little guilty for wishing for and receiving a c-section.
I was wheeled into the L&D surgery room and the team got to work. I was very relieved at this point and thought the c-section would be a piece of cake. However, I felt much of what they were doing and it seemed to take a very long time. The pressure when they were taking the baby out was very intense and I was in a lot of pain. I can handle all of that though, when I heard my son cry for the first time, I knew it was all worth it. That sound created the biggest out of body experience that I’ve ever had. It was beautiful, magical, wonderful, everything.
Even with all that could have gone better, my biggest regret/sadness from that experience is that I only got to see him out of the corner of my eye briefly. It took what seemed like a lifetime but was more like 45 minutes for me to get to see and bond with my baby. They even let family members in to see him before I got to! I should never complain, though. So many mothers have far bigger complications than I had. So many mothers see their babies go to the NICU or have their own lives threatened. That’s why I feel like the luckiest momma in the whole world. I have a beautiful, healthy, wonderful baby. My heart goes out to the mommas who aren’t so lucky.
I would do it all again 1 million times over to get my baby. He really is the best thing this world has ever seen.
I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. I was the child who had the baby dolls and dreamed of doing the things that moms do. Strolling the baby around, feeding the baby, rocking and swaying with the baby. It surprises me now, as an adult, that I did have such an urge to become a mother as I certainly didn’t have the cookie cutter upbringing that would lead me to believe that we all live happily ever after and that our mothers are always there for us. I only saw my own mother occasionally in the summertime.
Still, I knew that motherhood was for me. I knew that I wanted to marry young, and have babies right away. They say life never turns out like you expect, but in this case it did. I met my husband when I was 16 years old. We were married by the time I was 21. 1.5 months later, I discovered I was pregnant!
This discovery took a little while to get to. I *knew* something was different with my body, I just never suspected that this was it. Just to be on the safe side, I bought a home pregnancy test-it was negative! I thought I had made much ado about nothing and thought nothing else of it, putting the 2nd test that came free in the package away. Fast forward 2 weeks later…still “late”! I was about to get in the shower when all of a sudden I had the overwhelming urge to take that 2nd test out and make sure. Lo and behold, there was a plus sign. I started at the test for a little while, not daring to believe the result. I read and re-read the test instructions. Yep, still a plus sign. I started to scream/cry/hyperventilate a little bit and ran out to my husband. He was the face of calm 
I demanded that we go buy some more tests, all 5 of them came back positive! You can’t blame me for being thorough!
I think back to that time and it seems like another life. I am now the mother of a 5 week old and I can’t imagine or relate to that other life where he wasn’t here with me. Where he wasn’t cooing and reaching for me, spitting up on me, and being the best thing that ever happened to anyone in the whole history of the world. Welcome to bloggymommy, welcome to my trials and joys of being a first time mother. Share this year with me and learn with me. Welcome.
If you know someone who’s pregnant here is a link to throw the perfect baby shower!
