I didn’t have the perfect pregnancy, I spotted throughout and me being the worrywart that I am, I always was so nervous that something would go wrong with the baby. Everything always turned out fine, my little man thrived in there!
Around 39 weeks, my doctor became a little concerned with my blood pressure and decided to induce my labor! That was fine with me as I was having false labor contractions constantly, and they were beginning to feel more and more like the real thing. I was also feeling like a giant whale by that point 
I went in on a Thursday morning and receive the synthetic hormone Pitocin to induce the labor. The nurse informed me that I had begun the early stages of labor anyway, and I was already 4 cm dilated! Wonderful news. Withing hours I was the full 10 cm dilated and I thought it was a piece of cake. I had an epidural, so I was really flying high thinking that I would have the easiest labor in all of history. No such luck…
After two hours of pushing my doctor came in and determined that my bones were shaped so that I cannot deliver vaginally. By his estimation, I had a big baby, but regardless of size delivering any full term infant will be near impossible for me. They had turned my epidural off by this point to help me feel to push, so I was in a lot of pain by this point. I quickly signed the release forms for the c-section. This is the point where I get down on myself a little bit. I feel like a gave up with the pushing. It was like I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore because no progress had been made. I feel a little guilty for wishing for and receiving a c-section.
I was wheeled into the L&D surgery room and the team got to work. I was very relieved at this point and thought the c-section would be a piece of cake. However, I felt much of what they were doing and it seemed to take a very long time. The pressure when they were taking the baby out was very intense and I was in a lot of pain. I can handle all of that though, when I heard my son cry for the first time, I knew it was all worth it. That sound created the biggest out of body experience that I’ve ever had. It was beautiful, magical, wonderful, everything.
Even with all that could have gone better, my biggest regret/sadness from that experience is that I only got to see him out of the corner of my eye briefly. It took what seemed like a lifetime but was more like 45 minutes for me to get to see and bond with my baby. They even let family members in to see him before I got to! I should never complain, though. So many mothers have far bigger complications than I had. So many mothers see their babies go to the NICU or have their own lives threatened. That’s why I feel like the luckiest momma in the whole world. I have a beautiful, healthy, wonderful baby. My heart goes out to the mommas who aren’t so lucky.
I would do it all again 1 million times over to get my baby. He really is the best thing this world has ever seen.
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